Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

who-let-the-daleks-out:

thenerdgirlcometh:

I actually believe artists and scientists think very similarly. Complex, abstract thought? They both have that down. It’s all about where that thinking takes you after that.

Words cannot describe how much I love this post.

beaky-peartree:

mariahwolf:

beaky-peartree:

Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point

Okay first of all fuck garlic bread

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

vireonovae-archive:

"anxIETy??" mOM saYS, "n OO jUSTT dON””TtTTT lET thINGS boTHEr yOU”

thAT

sIMpLE????? jUST dONT “leT" IT bOTHER ME??? anxIetY„„, gonEE THEN!!!???

scIeNTIFIC brEAKthROUGH???!!! thAT………

eASSYYY??!!!!????

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
At the grocery store
Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.
vvhitehouse:

awwww-cute:

Show off

THE LITTLE PAW SHOWING THROUGH THE BOWL IM WEAK

vvhitehouse:

awwww-cute:

Show off

THE LITTLE PAW SHOWING THROUGH THE BOWL IM WEAK

When I look in the mirror, I know I’m looking at someone who isn’t sure she deserves to be loved at all.
Nicholas Sparks, Dear John (via kushandwizdom)
laughhard:

See this hat? Tis’ my cat.

laughhard:

See this hat? Tis’ my cat.